No stitches, just platelets and will power
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
