you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk is not a location!
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
