Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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