there's paper in my vomit.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
