Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
