OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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