i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
