This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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