you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
