oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
