I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
