Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
