franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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