It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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