So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize