Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
