is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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