I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
