Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
