dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize