i just had sex bonerless
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
