is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My penis needs a shock collar
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
