My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize