mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
