Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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