okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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