We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
