Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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