He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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