you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
