um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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