you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize