Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
