you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Someone shattered a urinal.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize