I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
