awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
