Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
