Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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