Duck Duck Cougar?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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