Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
