No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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