She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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