Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize