put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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