after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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