Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
