My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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