I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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