North Korea, Best Korea!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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