i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
