I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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