You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
