Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
