its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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