It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
