I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
