I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
