So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
