Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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